au pair faq.

Frequently Asked Questions about being an au pair

 Updated 1/24/2013

Note: To those of you showing up from Google, welcome! I was an au pair in Germany from July 2011 – 2012 and am no longer one, but I still live here. This seems to confuse some people. So there’s that.

Why did you decide to be an au pair?

After backpacking Europe the summer of 2010 between my junior and senior year of college, I fell in love (with the continent, not a boy). All I could think about was going back. I went back to the monotonous routine: university, internships, sleep – and ultimately took on another job to really save up for my graduation gift to self: Eurotrip #2. During my saving and trip planning, I quickly realized that after graduation I wanted to do something different before entering the workforce. I missed out on the opportunity to study abroad in college, so I began exploring my options overseas. I loved my babysitting job in high school and being an au pair immediately came to mind. After tons of time, loads of research and countless heart-to-hearts later, I made the big decision (and later big decision #2 – staying). So, here I am in Deutschland. Hopefully the following can help you in the research department.

What is an au pair?

Au pair is a French term meaning “equal to”. Thus, it implies a mutually beneficial relationship between you and the family. Au pairs typically live with the family in their home and help take care of the children along with fulfilling some basic household duties in exchange for a place to stay and a cultural immersion abroad.

How did you find out about being an au pair?

The Internet is the obvious answer here. As a member of the blogosphere, there are tons of au pairs out there blogging, like myself. There are also many online au pair agencies with free information (but not free family searching, but we will get to that later). Google is your friend. One of my favorite resources was AuPair Mom. It is a resource for host moms and dads, but au pairs can find some great info here as well.

 Some other Au Pairs: Hanley, Hailey, Mike, Stacie

Also, talk to everyone you know about this option. Although they may know nothing about au pairing, they may know somebody, who knows somebody, who knows an au pair that you can talk to. This is how I found out about the site I ended up using.
 
Lastly, I CAN HELP! I am so happy to field any other questions you might have or direct you in the right direction. Just shoot me an email or leave a comment on this page. In return, I only ask that in the future you direct others interested in au pairing to my blog.

Do you speak German/Sprechen sie Deutsche?

A little. I learn more every day, but I knew zero when I got here.

Why Germany?

During my first trip to Europe, Germany was easily my favorite destination. Munich was the only place I saw, but it was all I needed. Germany is a lush, green, beautiful, centrally located country. The people are ultra welcoming and maintain wonderful family values. There are so many great towns to see and it is easy to travel anywhere in Europe from here.
 
Oh, and (almost) everyone here speaks English, but it’s not the primary language. I wanted the opportunity to learn another language, but also selecting a country where I would not feel isolated by a language barrier was extremely important to me. In as early as elementary school, Germans begin learning English. Even if someone says their English is poor, it is actually pretty decent.
 
If Germany doesn’t do it for you, explore your options. People all over the world are looking for au pairs!

How did you find your family?

In short, AuPair World is your site. This website may not be the prettiest, but it is FREE for you as an au pair to use. It is also reasonably priced for host families to search. Fill out your profile and begin searching for families. You can save your searches if you are picky about where you are going to be, like I was.
 
I met my second family through my best friend during my first year in Karlsruhe. She met them in California before they moved back to Germany and came along!

How do I select a family?

Follow your gut. Although places like Munich, Berlin, Hamburg, Stuttagrt and Dusseldorf sounded a bit more glamorous than Karlsruhe, I am so happy here because I LOVE my au pair families. The town is pretty great, too. Your instincts are strong; you can tell which family you are going to love and is going to love you back.
 
In addition to my gut, I really liked how this family knew the exact process of integrating an au pair into family life. They had several au pairs before me. They knew how to work with the government to make my stay here legal. They also gave me the contact information of a couple of their previous au pairs to direct some of my questions. I loved this aspect because I asked them the questions I felt uncomfortable asking the family: i.e., how they made friends, what they did in their free time, etc. However, do not be discouraged if your family has not had an au pair before. Once again, the gut.
 
I spent hours on Au Pair World. I’m talking HOURS. I exchanged emails with several families and Skyped with about 5. Explore your options and your heart will lead you the right way.
 
Fair warning: I do not want to scare anyone, but it’s only fair to be honest. I have talked to other au pairs who did not have as wonderful experience that I had and ended up leaving. It’s OK to be selfish during the search. If you do not feel good about the family, look for another. If you are not happy, the family won’t be happy and vice versa. As I said, you have instincts, use them. Once you are there, if there are issues, bring them up immediately. It is only fair to both sides that you raise any issues before they start to become detrimental to your experience abroad.

Do you need a Visa?

Yes, you will need a visa, unless you plan to be in the EU for 90 days or less. The Schengen Agreement created a borderless travel area of Europe that you can travel freely in for 90 days before you need an extended stay visa. Unlike most visas, the au pair visa is non-renewable and lasts 1 year. Traditional visas are obtained from the embassy before you come to the country, but the au pair visa can actually be granted in Germany by the foreigners department with the proper paperwork, proof of insurance, etc.
 
For more information about the German au pair standards and the visa process, read my post here.

You are in Germany for longer than one year, I thought that was not possible.

It is not possible on an au pair visa. I obtained a working visa for my second stay, which is renewable. I am now a German tax payer and everything.

What is your typical day*?

Typical is always a difficult to describe, particularly when there are 4 kids involved BUT something along the lines of:
 

8:00 Breakfast

8:20 Walk Carolin to school

8:40 Play with Liam

10:30 Put Liam down for nap

10:45 Chore of some sort

11:45 Wake Liam up

12:00 Play with Liam

1:00 Lunch

 
After lunch, I was off. In the afternoon I would usually do English reading or spelling with one of the kids for 45 minutes but the rest was up to me. I usually worked out, went into town, shopped, napped, blogged, and hung out with the family or friends.
 
*I must be honest here and tell you that once the school schedule changed mid-year, I ended up working 7-8 hrs/day when I should have been working 5 (30 hrs/wk Monday – Saturday). I was not even sure if my host mom was aware of it and I felt guilty saying it because clearly they needed me. However, I was not being compensated for my extra time and it really started to get to me. One (ok, two) extremely awkward conversation(s) later, the issue was resolved. You must let your host family know how you’re feeling because they will not know what exactly is up your ass otherwise.
 

How do you meet people abroad?

My easiest answer is Couch Surfing. There is a meet up at a bar every 2 weeks in Karlsruhe (most decent sized cities have them, search CS for your city’s group) and I also contacted some couch surfers individually seeing if they would like to meet up for a drink. All have gladly responded yes and been great company! My family introduced me to great people from the neighborhood, too.
 
If your town has a university, Google to see if they host Erasmus Program students. It is the European exchange organization where students from all over Europe come to the University for a semester. The program has weekly meetups and hosts parties. Plus, the common language among people is often English as people come from all over Europe. I really enjoyed going to the Erasmus meetups.
 
Some other ways to meet people are sports clubs, language classes, and church, although I haven’t used any of these methods to make friends yet.

What is the compensation?

As an au pair visa holder, I was compensated with 50 percent flight reimbursement, 260€ pocket cash per month, health insurance, a public transit card, bike, room and board, food, and 30 vacation days. My family also granted rewards. For instance, they purchased me a BahnCard 50 because they knew I wanted to travel. My family followed the German au pair standards pretty closely, but I assure you from the other au pairs I know: every family is different. Ask questions!
 
If you still have questions, please send me an email or leave a comment. I am happy to address anything regarding au pairing, Germany, travel in Europe or ANYTHING that crosses your mind.
 
Disclaimer: The information above is my personal advice based solely on my experience as an au pair in 2011-12. I cannot speak for other au pairs, host families or host countries. I also cannot guarantee the same experience. Use cautious and legal methods of seeking out a host family, au pair, nanny, etc.

31 Comments

  1. Hey there! I just was reffered to your blog from Sally. Over at Me+Life+Coffee.
    Well, I moved to Germany (Borken) exactly one week ago today! I am also an aupair from the US, Arizona to be exact! :) I am loving it so hard, but having a tough time getting over the awkward/lonliness from not knowing the language. The kids in the family don’t speak English, just the parents. I love the family, but I am dying to meet friends or just go have coffee or a drink with someone else who speaks english.
    Anyway, I was wondering if you had any tips for me! AND if you’re up for it maybe we could meet up sometime!
    Talk to you soon!
    xoLyndsy

    • Hi! I just looked you up and you aren’t toooooo far! I would love to meet up some time. Anyway, for my first month I knew nobody and seroiusly just watched movies with the parents every night so don’t be discouraged. First, you must put yourself out there, talk to anyone that you hear speaking english – that’s how I met one of my best friends here. I just heard him talking on a tram. Second, I suggest getting on CouchSurfing.org and finding people nearby, everone on that site is always ready to meet up. Third, if there is a University in your town or neighboring towns, search Facebook or Google for a local ERASMUS group. It is a European exchange group and the common language English and they have weekly parties usually. Anyway, definitely shoot me an email at ifsandsandbutts@gmail.com and I will write more!

  2. : ifs ands & butts Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I’ve really enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. In any case I will be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again very soon!

  3. Hey Hello:) I am going to be an aupair in a village called kuernbach in baden-wuerttemberg. I will be there in September. I have my german boyfriend living in heidelberg. Although I am free all evenings and badly wanna meet him (thats the reason for me to choose Germany in the first place), the train tickets are just so expensive. Can I get the student pass for the trains somehow, something like discounted monthly passes? Do you think if I enroll for a language class in heidelberg I will be able to get the pass? Would be really thankful if you can guide me with this (I’m just so worried). Thanks and if you would stilll be there in Germany in sept, I would be slad to meet you:)

  4. Hey danke schoen;) Thats a lotta information. Yes, We will definitely catch up once I am there:) Have fun in Deutschland:)

  5. Hey, its me again:) How did you manage to get the ISIC student card? I mean you are an aupair in German, right? and you are not a student anymore(or you are still enrolled somewhere?) I just finished my university in May and so I think I can’t get it:( Or still there is someway? THANKS A TON:):)

    • So I was actually just graduating from Uni when I applied for it, so it wasn’t a problem. http://www.myisic.com/get-an-isic-card.html I think I just did the scanned copy of my student ID card, which didn’t have a validity date but they didn’t seem to mind. Or I showed my old tuition bill. I don’t remember but they aren’t too strict. I also used studentuniverse.com to save money on some flights too

  6. Awww lots of love and thankss to you:) I got my ISIC finally, hope it would help me a lot:) have fun!!!:):)

  7. hiiiiiiiiiiiii, My family said I would probably join language class in karlsruhe. You are there, right? Can you maybe give me some information about language classes in karlsruhe and the fees? Where did you go? thanks again:)

  8. Hi there! I am married to a Texan. I’m a sissy when it comes to spicy things, but he loves them, so sometimes I’ll eat them and just make sure I have a lot to drink. I also take what some might consider a disgusting amount of photos. My husband got me a new camera for Christmas and I’ve already passed 1500 photos (of course a lot of those were ones where I took a few versions of a photo and kept the best, but still). I also love to travel although I haven’t done as much of it as I would like to.

  9. Hey there. I’m Albanian and in my country we don’t have au pair agencies to help us find a host family. The only way is through internet. I would like to know where there is any other way…websites or whatever that can help you connect with families 100% free. I mean, not only registration but everything in the process.I just can spend so much money without knowing if I will ever get the job.
    besides that I want to know if I can find an au pair place only for 3 months of summer (middle july -middle october ) or smth like that. I am a student and I have no intention leaving school so I am able only for 3 months. should I apply now ? or should I wait until April or May ?
    I really need some help :(
    thanks in advance !!!

    • Hi there! I used aupair-world.net and it was 100% free to find a family. The families are the only ones who pay. Then, you can browse and see what families are looking for. Most want longer term but just search and see what you can find. Once I wrote emails, I communicated via Skype to get more information and know the family more. Each family pays and gives benefits at their own choice, so you will have to talk to them about flights, public transport, etc.

  10. Hey! I’m using Au Pair World as well and I have to say it’s certainly the best websites to use. I have a question about au pair visa requirements I haven’t seen answered anywhere–you said you spoke zero German, so how did you get the visa? I keep reading sort of vague allusions to a requirement for A1 level, A2 level, a class in high school or university, etc. You can email me if you need to do a detailed answer. Great blog and best of luck in Germany! (I’m currently visiting the boyfriend and family in the Bodensee area, so we’re a little close!)

    • Hey Courtney! I actually just went with my host mother to get my first visa after I got here and she did all the talking. I was not tested or anything, but I know they technically could. I have never heard of this happening to the 6 + au pairs I’ve talked to. Definitely shoot me an email if you have more questions about this. Are you looking to au pair near the Bodensee? I haven’t made it down there yet but can’t wait til when I do.

  11. Okay, thank you! I’ve also heard from another au pair that she had the same experience–no testing, host mom/dad did the talking, got the visa. I’m nervous because I really don’t speak German (but I want to learn!!) so I’m afraid it would jeopardize whether I get the visa or not. I am looking to au pair around here–it’s a little difficult to stay only in the south with Au Pair World, since so many different families contact you. But if you know of any families that need an au pair feel free to tell me! The area is gorgeous, gorgeous, GORGEOUS and it’s so nice just to walk around Konstanz and people watch.

    • I will definitely let you know if I hear anything, viel glück, and keep me updated! Learning German is so hard but it is so rewarding to see your own improvement.

  12. Hi! Your blog is just amazing! :) and it helps me a lot!

    Oh, I’m currently an au pair in Bayern. I must confess I’m feeling so frustrated, specially with the support of my agency =/ I’m not feeling comfortable living with this family too, it seems like I’m not fitting in their needs and this is not good… All I do the hostmother goes after me to check if I did it right and she always says I’m doing right, but after few minutes she’s doing everything again… When I’m not happy, they’re not happy, no one is happy and I wouldn’t like to lose 1 years of my life just unhappy.
    I know that there’s the possibility to change families, but do you know if in any moment of the program I could change it? I try to get a clear answer of my agency but I’ve haven’t received a good support. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know who with person I could talk about, I feel insecure… How can you “help me”?

    • I did not go through an agency so I do not know how that process of switching families works. However, I’m sure you can call them and tell them you would like to switch and soon as I am sure the process is not immediate. You could also get on the site I used, aupair-world.net, and see if tehre is anyone looking for someone immediately. I hope your situation gets resolved so you can really enjoy your year in Germany!

  13. Pingback: A travel blogger interview with Alex Butts aka @abuttsy - Backpacks and Bunkbeds | Backpacks and Bunkbeds

  14. Girl, I am so glad you found my little blog and in return, I’ve found yours! I love everything about this site of yours… you have certainly done an amazing job at building it up. It’s beautiful. Also, glad you have resources on au pairing. This has been something I’ve been wanting to do for a while as I get e-mails often from a friend of a friend of a friend who heard I was an au pair in Spain, and wanted some advice. LOVE all of your posts. And I can’t describe how jealous I am that you are living in Europe post-au pairing. I would love that opportunity, but sadly I think I gotta head back to the USA once this summer hits. Well hey, you got a new follower. And I’m heading up to Berlin–> Hamburg, Germany in a few weeks. Pretty sure I am going to LOVE it. Can’t wait.

  15. Thanks for this! It really helped!

    I just chose a family in Belgium and am really excited to go spend my summer with them. One question I have though- do I need a working visa if I will be there for only about 6 weeks? I assume the Schengen States tourist permit would suffice, but I can’t find anywhere that talks about a visa for au pairing in the summer. I was searching for it on google and came across your page. Very interesting! Thanks!

    • You’re welcome, Sarah! Glad I could help. Should be a great time! If it is only 6 weeks, it should not be a problem as you have 90 days with the Schengen! I hope you have an awesome experience!

  16. I just want to say your blog is literally the only one I’ve found that puts me at ease. I’ve been in Germany 3 weeks, and kind of panicked last night about getting my visa. I wanted initially to spend time with my host family, and make sure it was going to be a good fit, while traveling a bit. But your info on getting yours and that it starts when you register for it made me feel a lot less anxious. Thanks for having such a great blog.

  17. I am interested in becoming an au pair, but I dont know anyone who has worked as one before. I have met several families on Au Pair Wold who seem wonderful, but I am just nervous about my next steps. Do you have any advise for someone trying to break into the world of Au Pairs?

    • Au Pairing isn’t a common thing – I didn’t know anyone who had done it before either. There are a ton of blogs out there, so I would just read what they have to say and my advice posted previously. I seriously just talked to families on the Internet, thought hard about it, and went for it and never looked back. It sounds like you’ve taken steps in the right direction, but as I mentioned, everyone’s experience is different and you will just make the most of yours, wherever you are. The Internet is my only advice for information and organization. Please let me know if you have any more specific questions. Good luck!

  18. Pingback: How to Become an Au Pair in Germany

  19. It’s great that you’ve taken the effort and time to assist
    those out there who are seeking out resources on this subject.
    Your real commitment to getting the answer out there
    appears to be incredibly helpful and has permitted students much like me
    to come to their goals. Your amazing help and advice will mean much to me and
    much more to my peers.

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