the bluntness of germans.
I have lived in Germany 10 months now, so I’ve met a few Germans to say the least. I’ve learned a lot from the people here and have made some generalizations. Germans speak more than one language. Germans are much better (or at least more focused) at math and science than Americans. Germans are on time. Germans love beer. and football. But one thing sticks out above all the rest:
Germans are blunt.
It is important to note that both of these exchanges are with people I do not know in the least bit. These are not funny exchanges with friends. I mean, they’re funny exchanges, but not with friends.
Example 1 (FB Chat):
Me: have you had time to have some fun since youve been back?
C: yeah.. I have a narrow timetable but indeed I did. Mon-Friday I am stuying hard and doing lots of sports, the weekends I was visiting friends or being visited. And I am doing my Portuguese language partner (she is 34!).. so I simplify my life but am fulfilled
Me: Doing what with her? haha I went to Portugal last weekend!
C: yeah really? My exgirl was living there! I love portugal. oh, I am sleeping with her
Me: haah ya it was awesome and haha just had to clarify – not used to people being so blunt. i always hear that’s the best way to learn the language haha
C: I am sorry, I am always blunt. If you go to a different place, you should sleep with the locals
Example 2 (at a bar):
Me: Oh nice to meet you, how do you guys know each other?
B: Oh, we slept together once.
Although I have many more examples, I think this ends the blog-appropriate conversations. Was Eurotrip correct when Cooper said, “You know America was founded by Prudes. Prudes who left Europe because they hated all the kinky, steamy European sex that was going on” ? After the initial shock of “is this normal?”, I actually like the Germans’ blunt style. There’s no beat-around-the-bush in this country. And it’s not just sex related. If there’s a problem, people say what they think and tell you how it is, but in a mature, everything-is-up-for-reasonable-discussion, manner. No one avoids confrontation and no one puts on a show based on these ridiculous awkward/not awkward social conversation standards we have laid out in the U.S.
What are your thoughts? Do you find yourself restrained by cultural conversation norms? What experiences have you had at home and abroad?
I love how blunt the Germans are – you always know where you stand.
No but for real, it’s really nice to know exactly how someone feels and what’s going on. Gotta love it. Such a surprise at first, though.
i try to have some type of filter on my mouth thought it doesn’t always work but hubby on the other hand no filter at all
haha always nice to have people to be filterless around
haha, Germans can be funny.
seriously, who ever said Germans were the least funny nationality? I love it.
I am glad you like us Germans, we can be weird sometimes but we really try to do our best.
so is this what’s wrong with me?
Wrong? No. I love the filter-less. We should all be this way. We need to have a meet up, asap.
i thought it only applies to a man in particular, but now i know germans are blunt
Oh yeah, no one in this country is shy when it comes to expressing themself
I agree that we (Americans) have strange social customs based on the overbearing fear of offending someone, but the social idiosyncrasies in Britain are very confusing. If someone says something is “quite good” they mean sub-par, not better than great. It’s nearly impossible to tell if someone who says “we must have you to tea” actually means afternoon drinking of tea, dinner, or whether they’re just being polite and don’t ever have interest in seeing you again. Etc. Oh, and there’s a whole level I’ve dubbed “Old English Gentleman Farmer Snark.” They will say something that sounds perfectly harmless, but their tone just slaps you across the face. This isn’t to say the English are rude; I just have taken many a social stumble in learning how to interpret “reserved and aloof”. Luckily I’ve got some great native friends that find my questions entertaining…
My high school had an exchange program with a German high school, and when they came over to us they couldn’t believe how sexually repressed (inexperienced and nervous-giggly) we were- so I totally believe these conversations!
This totally makes me rethink EVERYTHING my British friend Leila says. She’s coming in a month and I’m so going to over analyze everything she says now but this is awesome. It really sometimes is straight out of the movies with European vs. American sexuality. Sometimes we wonder why these stereotypes and perceptions exist but then you not only witness it, but are a part of it and it makes so much more sense haha.
hahaha that’s too funny! I don’t think I would ever share like that but it is a little nice to hang around people who are so honest and open.
ha it really is, but ya i’m not quite to the sharing like that with strangers point yet… not sure if i’ll ever be
I also love the bluntness because no one takes anything personally. It’s just like “btw, that was really horrible” and you’re just like “yeah, cool” and everyone goes on and is ok with life. I like that!
It really is great, once I got used to it and stopped looking like a deer in headlights every time it happened!
Funny to read that as a German. Ha ha… Maybe because we Germans are blunt some think the Americans are prude and a bit superficial [I don't think that by the way]. But I heard people say it. Guess they are just not used to someone not being blunt and say certain things straight forward. I don’t know… just a guess.
By the way, to answer your question about what “no filter” is in German. You can just say “ungefiltert”. Like in: “die ungefilterte Wahrheit sagen” or use phrases like: “nicht um den heißen Brei reden” / “etwas nicht schön reden” / “etwas sehr direkt sagen” / … . Always depends on the context though.
By football, you meant soccer, right? Germans are crazy about Fussball. Don’t call any German [male] on a Saturday between 6 and 8pm – Sportschau is on TV… ha ha ha =)
Yes! This is awesome! I totally know some Germans think that about Americans. Everyone is actually very opena bout their perceptions of the US when they meet me, which is cool because it’s always easy to laugh about. Most people give you the chance to defy a stereotype.
And YAY for my German lesson of the day!
Haha yes, I did mean soccer. It’s funny because now I say football when I should say fußball or soccer because I used to mean American football when I said it, so now I just confuse people. Oh Gott.
Haha, this would leave me with raised eyebrows too! “I am doing my Portuguese language partner” is hilarious. I’m not sure anyone really NEEDS to know that about anyone, sexual repression or otherwise!
I know right. I don’t even know this dude!
Ha! Ohmygosh! Thanks for the warning! Hopefully I’ll be prepared when I move there!
xx
Kecia
http://www.couturezooblog.com/
Ha you will be caught off guard at first, but you will learn to love it!
I love it! Most German girls thought I was a slut for talking about sex all the time! But all my guy friends think it’s funny and say “you’re so German.” Of course, the boy likes that I can be blunt too. So did I get my bluntness while living in Germany? Maybe? But I think I’ve always been like that and Deutschland just enhanced it
haha oh gosh, I can’t even imagine what my friends are going to think of me when I’m home and filter-less
As much as I hate to admit to admit it, we’re a little prude. Last night I was watching a variety show (they LOVE them in France) with my in-laws, and there were all these show girls swanning around the stage topless. Totally normal for them, a tad uncomfy for me. I can’t wait until topless showgirls don’t phase me at all
So true – how were we raised for this to make us so uncomfortable. I feel your pain. Actually, not pain, just awkwardness.
I was a bit surprised when the kids I was taking care of (8&11) ran up to their mom and me waving pictures of topless women (one pic enhanced, the other not) at the dining room table. I’ll be prepared on my trip to Bavaria to visit a friend.
Haha ya so funny how differently nudity is viewed. I still haven’t brought myself to go to a sauna yet.
I stumbled upon this older post of yours by accident and love it! It makes me laugh being I have a Ger,an husband and know all too well how blunt they can be. But I also really appreciate that about Germans. There is no facade or misconceptions. It’s actually a fresh change that has a sense of relief.
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Haha once you get used to it, you do learn to appreciate it but oh how it is shocking the first few times!